Reasons
by Tex1051
Summary: Everyone has a reason they keep going, everyone has their own war- introspective on characters, look into past- no slash- no pairings r/r
1. Sulu

Hey im back with more. Ill update as fast as I can but don't hold your breath, each chapter is a stand alone so don't worry about cliffhangers. I'm having some trouble with open office so work with me on how it reads. I'll fix it as soon as I can. Please review and help with punctuation. If anyone wants to beta be my guest and tell me.  
I own nothing  
-tex

_To make someone proud_

* * *

It had been a long shift. Hikaru Sulu had just gotten off a long shift on planet helping colonists rebuild after a flood. He had seen things that no one should ever see: dead parents, orphan children, dead children- It was horrible. He just wanted to go to sleep. It had been so emotionally draining. Why should he stay in space? Hikaru didn't know if he could handle something like this again. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't do it. Closing his eyes, Sulu felt a flashback come that he couldn't shake. He felt the dog tags press against his chest

* * *

"_Hey, Hike, What's goin' on?" Hikaru's brother walked into the room. Today was Hike's birthday. He was turning six._

"_Hey Wen, guess what! Dad got me a helicopter with one of those controls so you can actually fly it, you wanna help me set it up?" His little brother's eyes were so wide and he was smiling with such joy that he just couldn't say no, but then again, he never could. He loved his little brother. _

"_Ya, sure, but I got you something too" he passed his brother a nicely wrapped box. Hikaru was surprised and took the box. After staring at it for a minute he opened it. It was a nice box. He opened it to find a necklace inside. He stared at it with curiosity. Why would his brother get him a necklace? It was metal and had a tag on the end. He looked at his brother with a question on his face._

"_Why did you get me a necklace?" Hikaru asked_

"_Its not just any necklace, read it" Wen said pointing to the tag. Sure enough, written on it was_

_Hikaru Sulu_

_5-10-22_

"_Turn it over" The back read_

_Happy Birthday_

_Make me proud_

_-Wen_

_Next to the words were a tiny picture of a plane. Hikaru loved planes and anything that flew really._

"_It's called a dog tag, they were used by armies long ago, I thought you might like it" Wen said. Hikaru put it on immediately and jumped on his big brother. _

"_Thanks Wen, I love it" smile big as ever_

"_Come on, let's go fly that helicopter!"_

_Hikaru followed his brother blindly, as he always had, and always would. "Hike, Im goin' for a ride, you wanna come?" Wen called to his younger brother. Hike was ten and still worshiped his older brother, 4 years his senior. _

* * *

"_Get off of me!" Hikaru yelled as two guys came up from behind him_

"_hey Hike, whats with the necklace. Don't girls wear necklaces, is there something you want to tell us?" It was the school bully. He was always picking on Hikaru. _

"_Go away their mine!" He had taken the dog tags that his brother had given him four years ago._

"_Give them back" he said as they pushed him to the ground and the pavement scrapped his shoulder. _

"_Those are mine" he said quietly. He could feel himself begin to cry. He would not cry, he was too old for that stuff._

"_Whats going on here?" Hike looked up in relief. It was Wen coming to save him. Just as he always had._

"_They took my tags!" Hike cried. His Brother easily had four inches on the bully. "Is this true?" he looked at him. He dropped the tags, backed up and ran away. Wen picked them up and stared at them for a while. "I didn't know you still wore these" Wen said quietly as he handed them back to his little brother. _

"_I never took them off" Hikaru said quietly._

"_Hike, I wanna teach you how to fight" He said seriously_

"_Okay" he said curiously_

"_I never want you to start a fight, but I always want you to finish one"_

"_I know" He was so wide eyed and trusting of his brother_

_Wen smiled "I love you kid" and he meant it _

* * *

"_Hike, I'm goin' for a ride, you wanna come?" Wen called to his younger brother. Hike was ten and still worshiped his older brother, 4 years his senior. _

"_Ya, I'll be there in a second!" he yelled from upstairs. Hikaru ran downstairs. His brother had just gotten his pilot's license. Nearly falling down the stairs in excitement, he rushed over to his brother. He had just passed the test. The family had a plane (for some reason) and they went over to it. _

_Wen was going to let his brother ride as co-pilot even if he didn't do anything._

"_So, Hike, I'm gonna start to take off and what I need you to do is--"_

"_--watch the altimeter?" He asked_

"_Uh, ya now I need you to tell me when it reaches--"_

"_2,000 feet?" He finished_

"_Ya, how did you know that stuff?" Wen was confused, that had been some of the hardest stuff to learn. At exactly what height to do exactly what. _

"_I don't know, I got bored so I Started to read about pilot stuff. Its really cool." His eyes were really big as he explained everything. "I wanna be a pilot just like you"_

_He smiled as he looked at his little brother, he gave a small laugh under his breath "I don't get you kid, but I love you"_

_Hikaru tried his best not to show how much he swelled up with his brother said that._

* * *

"_Hey Hike, you wanna come with me for a ride on my motorcycle?"_

"_Ya, sure" fifteen year old Hikaru came downstairs._

"_Hop on" Wen gave him his patented smile, he never could resist. Hikaru held onto his brother tightly as they rode. Wen put on a helmet but he didn't make his brother. They got onto the road and were going way too fast, but they were having fun. _

"_Hike put on the helmet, its bothering me"_

"_Okay" He took I hesitantly, Hike really didn't want it, but it wasn't worth putting up a fight._

"_I want you to know that I love you" Wen said, his voice was strained_

"_Ya, I know that" He was confused, he didn't talk like that, it seemed kind of random._

"_Make me proud Hikaru" His brother was scarred but trying to hide it. He was going too fast and they hit a building. _

_Only one survived_

_On later inspection, it was revealed that someone had cut the brake lines. Wen gave his brother his helmet when he found out and told him he loved him and to make him proud. He saved his brother. _

* * *

Back to reality, he opened his eyes and held back tears. He held his dog tags tightly in his hand.

He knew why he had to keep fighting, he had to make sure his brother did not die in vain, to make him proud.


	2. Spock

a/n- I hope this was posted fast enough but I may not be posting for a while, give me a chance, its all coming

-Tex

* * *

It had been a long day. Spock Entered his quarters lost in thought. It was a day in which his human side had shown greatly if only on the inside. He didn't know if he could take much more of this, whatever "this" was. Emotion. A problem he had faced as a child. As he sat down his thoughts would trail back to his youth.

_

* * *

His Father was home, this was quite a rare occurrence for him to do so without reason. A six year old Spock approached him. _

"_Father, what are you doing home so early?"_

"_I have taken the day off as I have put in more hours than required and would enjoy rest.'_

"_Indeed, you have been at work a lot." Spock followed his father as they entered the house._

"_Why do you follow me, have you nothing better to do?"_

"_No, sir"_

"_J'Kar is home, why do you not talk with him?"_

"_J'Kar does not seem interested in any prospect of friendship"_

"_What makes you say this?"  
_

"_He continually refers to me as a 'half-blood' while I am unsure of the exact definition, the context seems to imply a negative inflection" This may sound adult but he had just lost his two front teeth and had a horrible lisp._

"_Truly?"_

"_Indeed, there seems to be no reason to invite further insults"_

"_I will speak to his mother, it is illogical to insult a child."_

"_Yes, sir" His eyes began to well up but he held it back, htis father would be cross if he was discovered crying._

* * *

_At seeing his sons eyes well up he separated himself from his son as much as it pained him, nothing could remove a fathers instincts to comfort a child, however, to survive in society, he must learn to control such emotions. _

_Ten-year-old Spock came home from school. He was acting quite withdrawn, even for a Vulcan. After greeting his mother and father he withdrew to his room. He had been up there many hours before Amanda came up to call him for dinner._

"_Spock" Amanda called_

"_Yes Mother?" He replied_

"_Can I come in?"_

"_Affirmative"_

_She walked into her son's room. It was so clean unlike earth body of such an age. "Spock, will you come downstairs?" _

"_I would rather not, mother" He said stiffly_

"_Why not?"_

"_It would be unwise" Spock replied flatly_

_Vulcans! You only get an answer for what you ask. This she had learned long ago._

"_Spock, what is troubling you?" she said sitting down next to her son_

_He looked at her intently. "It is the children at school, they mock us, they call us 'traitors' and 'humans', father too"_

_She could feel her son hurting, she could see it in his eyes. Her son's eyes, so human, it was sometimes the only piece of herself she could see in him._

"_Mother, I do not wish for you to believe that I am ashamed of my parentage. I hold a deep respect for you. However, it does make things more difficult. I do not wish to offend you" he was covering his tracks, like a child who feels guilty._

"_Oh Spock" she held him close to her heart "I know you don't wish to hurt me. No matter how illogical it is, I love you and nothing you can say or do will break that." She looked onto her son's eyes, he was holding back tears._

"_I know I should not let their words affect me but I cannot hold back all the time, I fear I will break." Spock looked up at her. "I wish to be a proud Vulcan and a proud human but both traits are so opposite." he paused "What should I do?"_

"_Follow where you are lead, Spock." Amanda looked lovingly at her son._

"_I do not understand" he was puzzled_

"_You will sweetheart" She loved her son_

"_Might it be possible to keep this between us?" Spock asked nervously. He did not wish his father to know his human side was showing._

* * *

"_Promise"_

_Spock was fourteen, on earth to study for a semester. It should have been a wonderful opportunity to diversify his culture. It turned out to be a highly informative experience, however, it was in their differences that he learned the most. Spock was an outcast on earth just as he was on Vulcan, His classmates found his logic 'annoying'. He lacked many social skills not required on Vulcan. _

* * *

_Now laying under the stars he found Vulcan. A red planet among the many. He wished to return. His father had sent him away due to embarrassment, he was unable to upkeep many of the responsibilities generally used on Vulcan. It was a lot of work for an important delegate to go around cleaning up his son's messes all the time. Truly, he wishes to make his father proud. He will go to The Vulcan Science Academy to honor his father's wishes. He will also join Star Fleet, a reasonable compromise between his father and he. Looking up at the ever expanding universe, he would go up there one day, someone has to understand him. _

* * *

_At twenty-five years old, Spock was on the transporter pad when he realized what had happened. He watched her slip out of his grasp as they were locked onto. He risked everything to save his culture, his planet, his everything. While the essence of the planet had been saved through the elders, his own essence had just been lost. Reaching out for his mother, to try and catch her, to save her, it had been in vain. If he had left sooner, run faster, changed anything. But no, right now he could just stare at the spot where his one friend, his one protector, his one savior, once stood. Only now had he seen his mother's loneliness. She was in his same position on Vulcan. His father left as though nothing had happened as did the others. But he couldn't move, he was too stunned. He could not except it. When it it him finally hit him, he saw now, he truly was alone._

* * *

He opened his eyes as they had closed in his reminiscence. Spock looked up and out the window, running his fingers across it just to make sure it was real. This was his true family. Here on the _Enterprise_. Here they liked him for who he was. It was an acceptance he felt nowhere else. This is why he had to stay with Star Fleet. Otherwise he had nothing else.


End file.
